i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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