Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
