sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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