I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As shirtless as possible
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
