How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
