Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
