She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
