i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
