is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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