If that was your dad, he is hot
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
