Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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