I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize