i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
