She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
