i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
