I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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