Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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