I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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