come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
