Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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