I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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