Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
