So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
