Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
