call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
