I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Less talking, more tequila
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
