Umm I'm too high to move.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
