im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
