I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
