The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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