what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize