dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
