her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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