Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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