how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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