We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
