I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
