sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
