Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
