This house was built for laser tag.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
