This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
