I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize