I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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