you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
