I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
