Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
