She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
