ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize