so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
