dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
