I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
