these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize