I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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