the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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