he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
