so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
