i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
