bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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