i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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