butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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