dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
