I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
