if you like me you must not know who I am
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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