one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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