Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
