There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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