why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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