If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
