I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
