his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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