My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
